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Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon.