Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.