Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
Being a man in biblical times must’ve been hard. You’re busy then your wife says, “Someone parted the Red Sea & you’re here watching sheep.”
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.