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Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!