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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, β€œMan, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.