Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
Vegetarian is an old Native American word for bad hunter.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.