Daily Silly Status

In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies

I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...

Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.

Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.

The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."

Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?

I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..

If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.

When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of

I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.

Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!

When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.

I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!

Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.

Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.