Daily Silly Status

whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots

My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)

My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.

The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.

Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.

I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.

Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.

When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I need a partner in wine.

Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.

If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.

I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.

if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.

My misery likes tequila, not company.