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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Life is fun! You should get one.
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..