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Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
Me: spends 12 hours comparing teams before completing NCAA bracket, loses $50. GF: Spends 5 minutes picking teams with "cute" mascot names, wins $1000.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
I hate when the remote is way over there
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."