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Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
Helpful Tip : The police never think it`s as funny as you do.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!