Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
I am hungry 25 hours a day
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
"Someday, your phone will cost more than your computer" - said no one ever.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.