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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?