Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
My kids don`t even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
Please do not read this.
It`s scientifically proven the more you shut up then the less likely I am to punch you in the face.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
The last 10 seconds of every voicemail my grandmother leaves me is her trying to hang up the phone.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
When I tell stories about people I don’t like, I give them ridiculous voices.
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.