Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
I am at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old with a permanent marker without a lid.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule
I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.
The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"