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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Jealously is something you’re good at when you suck at everything else.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
Running behind is my cardio.