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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” literally translates to “I’m a loud, sloppy drunk.”
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone