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I pretend I’m taking an important call and use big words when old people walk by so they’ll think the future is in good hands.
You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I dare you to spit on this status.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.