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Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
I liked you better before we met.
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
Life Insurance: Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money?
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.