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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
When I`m home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.