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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
“Was that lightning?” “No no…. they’re taking pictures for Google Earth..”
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
Today`s subliminal thought is: …