Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit.
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
My wife asked me to load the dishwasher. So I poured her some shots and told her to start drinking. And that`s how the fight started.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.