Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife is pissed at me again. Apparently I`m breathing wrong.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that Iām right.
Woke up to gun shots this morning. Luckily my wife has horrible aim.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!