Daily Silly Status

I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case

If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”

Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.

so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?

figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.

I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!

Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.

I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what`s going on and there`s a lot of wine drinking.

I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.

I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette

I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.

You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.

I deserve an Oscar for my performance in "Holy crap this is a terrible gift but I`ll pretend to love it."