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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.