Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...
Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!