Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What number SPF blocks people?
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I need new swear words.
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
Sometimes I zone out and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer.