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The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.