Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
The first sign of laziness:
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
life is too short to match socks
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
My misery likes tequila, not company.