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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
If Crunch Berries aren`t considered fresh fruit I don`t think this diet is going to work out.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.