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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.