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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.
Never compliment a lady on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is