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If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
Iām a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
Buys Mega-Millions ticket. Has a better chance of being hit by lightning in a cave.
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...