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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.