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Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it’s either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke….. in which I talk about having a wife.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked , "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "kindergarten".
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.