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I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It’s like you get to undress it.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.