Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
My girlfriend says I need to grow up. I think she`s just angry I didn`t give her the password to my pillow fort.