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A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
Yes, Facebook says we`re `friends` but, trust me, I wouldn`t hesitate to punch you in the face.
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even Iām not sure if Iām kidding or not.
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.