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Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.