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I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.