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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
My wife said we could have a three way "when pigs fly" so I showed her a police helicopter.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
After all these years I finally figured out that that last little piece of soap is more trouble than it`s worth.
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."