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My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
There are three kinds of people: Those who totally agree with my messages, those who kind of agree with me, and those locked in the trunk of my car.
Some people want to get in shape before they go to a gym. Which is the equivalent of losing weight so you can go on a diet
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
I’m drinking something. I`ll give you a hint: It starts with a B and rhymes with....um..... “beer.”
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
My friend said the only vegetable that could make him cry was an onion. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.