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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.