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How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
My wife said we could have a three way "when pigs fly" so I showed her a police helicopter.
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.