Daily Silly Status

If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.

I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham

When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?

I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream

I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!

I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.

Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.

I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.

I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.

There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.

Sometimes I use big words that I don’t fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.

Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?

People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.

is ready to have one too many!