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I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)