Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
If you’re getting dirty looks because your baby is crying loudly on a plane, start crying even louder and everyone will avoid eye contact
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
I don`t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?