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Never trust a skinny chef
So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I`m pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but so was yesterday, and look how that turned out...
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...