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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
A real man should never wave faster than he says the word “hey”
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car