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It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
"Please don`t do this." - my voice mail greeting
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying