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Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn`t have toilet paper with aloe.
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.