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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Jesus is coming.... look busy
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?