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Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
What do crickets hear when they have an awkward silence?
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
My ex was in a swimming competition with 19 other women today. They were doing the breaststroke. Unfortunately, she came in last place. She didn`t know she could have used her arms!
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.