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Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
"Please take a seat" was a bad introduction for a Kleptomaniacs` Anonymous meeting.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!