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I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you`re the worst employee at a toy factory
Velcro is a ripoff
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do