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I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.