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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)