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Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
My wife has a thing for bringing injured animals home... I think she should just stop driving.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
Some people just need to be clothes lined
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.